For a brief time this year, the bestselling “bitter lemon drink” on Amazon was “Release Energy,” which consisted of the harvested urine of Amazon delivery drivers, rebottled for sale by Catfish UK prankster Oobah Butler in a stunt for a new Channel 4 doc, “The Great Amazon Heist”:
Collecting driver piss is surprisingly easy. Amazon, you see, puts its drivers on a quota that makes it impossible for them to drive safely, park conscientiously, or, indeed, fulfill their basic human biological needs. Amazon has long waged war on its employees’ kidneys, marking down warehouse workers for “time off task” when they visit the toilets.
As tales of drivers pissing – and shitting! – in their vans multiplied, Amazon took decisive action. The company enacted a strict zero tolerance policy for drivers returning to the depot with bottles of piss in their vans.
That’s where Butler comes in: the roads leading to Amazon delivery depots are lined with bottles of piss thrown out of delivery vans by drivers who don’t want to lose their jobs, which made harvesting the raw material for “Release Energy” a straightforward matter.
Butler was worried that he wouldn’t be able to list his product on Amazon because he didn’t have the requisite “food and drinks licensing” certificates, so he listed his drink in Amazon’s refillable pump dispenser category. But Amazon’s systems detected the mismatch and automatically shifted the product into the drinks section.
Butler enlisted some confederates to place orders for his drink, and it quickly rocketed to the top of Amazon’s listings for the category, which led to Amazon’s recommendation engine pushing the item on people who weren’t in on the gag. When these orders came in, Butler pulled the plug, but not before an Amazon rep telephoned him to pitch him turning packaging, shipping and fulfillment over to Amazon:
Found another misplaced artifact – John Dollar’s poster from Thri-Kreen of Athas, a Dark Sun campaign supplement by Tim Beach and Dori Hein (TSR, 1995) Includes this guide to Thri-Kreen emotional expression:
Two years ago, I was once the happiest and most excited employee, working for company known as Wondermation Productions. For years, I had been working on my voice acting career. I would provide my voice for plenty of online animations and projects, but I dreamed of getting my voice into bigger places, not for fame, but to make other happy and because I absolutely love voiceovers.
One day, I was approached online from a (then) friend, offering me the opportunity of a lifetime…the chance to provide my voice for an animatronic for an upcoming theme park ride: Kooky Trails.
After an audible chat online with the bosses of Wondermation, I was declared the brand new voice of “Floozy”. I was ecstatic, telling the world on my social media that my dream was coming true. My friends and family were so happy for me, I was happy, happier than I ever was in my life.
Unfortunately, like life itself, happiness never lasts…I was being told that I was “too nice” by anonymous members and eventually as the weeks went on, nearly two years after being announced as the voice of the titular character, I was given some rather disappointing news on Good Friday, April 2023….I was being let go of Kooky Trails, a decision made for all the wrong reasons.
Since then, KT’s been getting a lot of backlash for the decision and the worst part is, they CLAIM to celebrate autism, so…why remove me? Because I was too nice? Because I had an eccentric sense of humor? What the hell?
Wondermation have to realise that being nice is contradictory. Autism comes in different patterns and sometimes nobody knows what to expect from it, it can be mild or it can show easily.
Getting rid of me is total discrimination, worst of all, Wondermation and Kooky Trails’ pages on Facebook have even blocked anybody who drop 1 star ratings and reviews on their page, that alone is unprofessional and disgusting.
If you can, please sign the petition to boycott the ride, because I’ve been discriminated and let down and let go for all the wrong reasons.
Hey guys this is my internet friend since 2006, please give this a read and hopefully you will sign the peition too please <3
